Be careful what you wish for

Story of the Week [for the week 24.03 to 30.03.2008]

Checklist:

1. Blasphemy

What does God know about creating peace on earth? Give me power and I’ll ensure that there is world peace. First, I’ll have mercy on all of God’s poor creations and condemn them to the gallows. Then, in the name of the almighty, I will condemn all pious know-it-alls to hell!

Check – – Loosen the screws.

2. Arrogance

What do these movie hall goers know about safety? This place is a hell-hole. Believe me, if I know the guy who designed this movie hall, I’d rip him to shreds for even thinking of becoming an architect in the first place. This hall is a disaster waiting to happen! One single spark, one single short circuit and this place will be in blazes. And people will have nowhere to run to. I wish they had consulted me before building this place…

Check – – Cut the wiring, make it appear as if rats have done the damage

3. Jealousy

Man! How can a dud like that get a hot chick like that! I mean, you would think that God would be more benevolent to his special creations like me. He should reward me with his more exquisite creations of the opposite gender. How I wish I had a girlfriend shaped like that! Man, that dude has got me going green!

Check – – Change the orientation

4. Lust

“Umm… that feels so good!”

Will you stop it?!! Just a while ago, you were drooling over “the chick with the other guy” and now you want to play around with me. I’m not impressed. Besides, I’m here to watch the movie. Not to fool around with you… Hmph!!!

Check – – Aim – ensure that target will be acquired

5. Gluttony

Jack! Stop hogging the popcorn!!!

Check – – wait for any signs of remorse

6. Anger

Why, why, why did I agree to watch this stupid movie with all of you? For all the freaking movies lined up on Broadway, we had to watch a documentary on Mars? I’d have been so much better off driving madly on the roads, maiming people for fun. Man, I love the look on their faces when they grimace in pain after I’m done driving all over them!

Check – – none forthcoming. Wait for final check.

7. Willingness

Man, I’ve seen cows shitting faster than this movie is moving. Why the heck is that title ‘Welcome to Mars’ still on the top of the screen? What a stupid documentary about some rover on some God-forsaken place. I’m sure hell would be a better place to be in than this shit-hole. I’d rather go to hell than be on Mars!

Check – – execute

One of the lamps hanging overhead was rattling all the while Jack was rambling away. It finally lost it’s battle against gravity and fell on Jack, crushing him on the spot. The last thought that passed through his mind was why the title of the movie had suddenly changed from “Welcome to Mars” to “Welcome to Hell!”